Adventures of the Supersized 6

To say that I have felt numb this week, doesn't even begin to cover it. I have felt emotionally drained all week. Noah had a funny rash on his hands on Monday while we were waiting in Kenwood for the iMac to get overhauled again. By the time I got him home to check it out again and to get Aaron's oppinion it was gone. Strange. Tuesday I worked with Jake on his report of President Warren Harding. He seemed to have it all memorized and he did a great job. I went to the surgeon and got a clean bill of health, yeah. I went to UC and did my admisions papers, talked to financial aid and signed up for Freshman orientation. At least I felt productive. This needed to be done, what...two years ago, I would be done now! Wednesday we had a nice quiet morning, Noah had lunch and his home teacher was here. I got an email that Jake bombed out on his president report and he has seemed to lost his focus since Christmas. We were getting Noah ready for the bus to preschool and he said his hands hurt and he was itching. I looked and he had the welty rash again. I kept him home, loaded him up on benadryl and got him to the ped. So I am now keeping a food diary of what eats, when, and how much. Hopefully we can determine what is making him break out. We talked about Jake's focusing issues, and those 3 little letters came up. I am not the kind of parent who is going to deny that her child may have a problem, but ADD is something that I fear. Now I am not all Tom Cruise about medicating a child, but on the other hand there is not enough conclusive evidence to show me that the long term effects are a-ok. I am trying to look at the benefit and I am keeping an open mind. If it comes to that I am willing to give it a trial run to see if it is in fact a help. Having children is fun, I love it greatly. But as each year goes by it becomes a whole new set of challenges. I can't help but ask if I can hack it? As for now, I can only take it one day at a time.
Thursday (Yikes, ok last night...my sense of time is whacked) was a bit better. I had conferences for Noah and Jake. Noah's went well and I learned that Aaron and I have about 4 weeks to decide if we are going to move forward with registering Noah for kindergarten next year or keep his IEP and him in the preschool program. He turns 5 in June, and he is acing the academics. But we are still stuck on that maturity level issue. He is not at the this point ready to go to Kindergarten. Do I think that he can turn it around in 4 weeks? Anything is possible, do I think he will. Doubt it. So I will watch him, and pray that I make the right decision. Jake's went well. It is always fun to have extra people in the conference with you. Jake's teacher and I were joined by the principle, his title teacher (reading program), and his previous teacher. It felt like an intervention. We made some choices and a few changes were made. But I walked away feeling that we are working as a team. I talked to Jake about the changes and what our expectations on him were going to be. I still worried how he would do today. I waited and waited but I did get an email that he was asked to re-present his presidents report and he aced it. He then proceeded to ace his spelling and comprehension test and got a 9 on his dictation test because he spelled what as wat. We are going to get the ADD evaluation done on Monday, and I am still keeping an open mind.

I am hoping that this weekend is the point that turns things around for all of us. This new year hasn't been as glorious as I had hoped it would be. One day at a time, nothing comes easy.....

TLM

More on the computer front. I woke up this morning and thought that with everyone home it would be a great day to go see "Curious George". I sat at the iMac to check movie times...The iMac decided that it didn't want to wake from it's sleep. I spent about an hour at Children's with Noah getting his follow up exam done. He did well and is now seeing at 20/20 with his glasses. He has improved so much. I was very proud of him. He also knew all his alphabet letters for the exam which surprized the doctor as well. That's my boy. Once we were done there we headed north to the Kenwood Towne Centre. I got the iMac in right away, but once they opened it up they realized that the part they had put in was faulty and so they needed to replace it yet again. To be extra cautious they also installed a few other related new parts. By the time I got home it was about 3:30 and I felt like my day was spent waiting. We never did make it to the movie. I was so tired I really did't feel like cooking or cleaning. I talked Aaron into going to Frischs instead. At least I got some yummy onion rings out of a crumby day.

My new motto.... Nothing is easy.

TLM

I am typing this entry out on our new computer!! Horray. Like how all things are going for us this new year, getting a computer did not come with out the dificulties we are becoming used to. We ordered a beautiful iMac with all the bells an whistles on Feb 2nd. It did not ship until the 10th and that was after Aaron wrote apple customer service a very eloquent and harsh email. We recieved the comupter on Wednesday (the15th) only to have it not work. It would not power on....frustrating. After serveral hours on the phone and Aaron running a series of diagnostics we took it to the apple store in Kenwood to have the "genious" look at it. Now here is the irony. It needed a new power source, and logic board. The two parts and labor was more than what we paid for the whole computer. Obviously it is under warranty, but it was still funny to me. Yesterday we picked up our new new computer at the store. Like I said, nothing is going to be easy this year.

I finally turned a corner on Wednesday. I was able to walk like an upright human and not all hunched over like some primate. My back was feeling better, and my shoulder pain was gone. I was still having some tenderness and it comes and goes. My incisions itch like crazy, but that is all part of the healing. I tell myself that this could all be worse. I am feeling like at least I am getting back on track. As for the rest of my brood.....

I was able to get Annika to her physical therapy appointment on Thursday. It was nice to get out. Annika is still pulling herself up to objects, and she will take a step or two in either direction but she will not let go and she very unsteady. Her feet are still turning in under her. So Carrie (Her PT) and I discussed braces to giver her stability and to help in her muscle development. I was numb throughout the whole conversation. At home I had Madison throwing up, and running fevers. Noah was off and on with fevers, and he had thrown up every morning. Jake was past the fevers but still had a nasty cough and his voice was raspy. Annika had broken a fever the night before butu seemed well enough to go to PT. Now she is getting braces....ok. I was given a brochure and encouragement. Thursday evening went well. Jake got a good grade on his spelling and he has to a presidents report this weekend. I was looking forward to having all the kids home for 4 days and Aaron has Monday off so we will hopefully have some family time with everyone healthy. Some sense of normal would be nice. We wake on Friday morning and Annika looks blotchy. Strange....I ran a few errands and rented movies for the kids. We put Annika down for a nap still blotchy, she wakes (after Aaron is at work of course) and she looks like a tomato. I got her into the dr's and it is from the lovely virus' that are swimming around my house. The good thing is that she is no longer contagious. Well at least there was good news...Noah is still throwing up every morning. We have come the conclusion that it is sinus drainage and it is upseting his tummy. I guess we will go for a round two with the ENT about what to do now. Fun stuff. I don't know if it is a good thing or a bad thing that I have become numb to all this adversity in parenting. Should I be more concerned? Not to say that I have none, but I have reached a point of acceptance. At least I feel like I am back on track physically and I am more able to handle the junk that is being thrown in our way.

TLM

The holiday that is Valentine's day is never really a big deal in our house. Or at least in my marriage. I never really was the girl that got the flowers and boxes of candy, or even jewelry. Aaron has never been the mushy gift giving kind. We both agree that Roses, or cut flowers for that matter are sorta a waste at anywhere from $30 to $80 since they quickly wither and die and you are left with an empty vase. Previous years have hardly yeilded much in the way of lavish gifts. One year Aaron got me a Chicago Blackhawks Game Puck at the Offical Hawks Nest store. Strange to some, but it was personal, and I loved it.Our kids love Valentines day since they have a party and get loaded up on sugar with all the treats and sweets. I splurged this year for them and got them some really cool Valentine's cards to exchange. Complete with Frisch's coupon's and plenty of good candy. We made a gift bag for each of them with treats and goodies from Mom and Dad. And as co-room mom I got plenty of fun stuff for parties as well. I figured that Aaron and I should have something on the table for each other, so I got him a card with tobasco candies on it. He loves hot and spicy stuff, and it was cute. As my "gift" from him a got a large sized heart shaped Reese's peanut butter cup. I enjoy Reese's so I thought it was perfect. Given my lastest post surgery status I figured that the day would be as the rest of the week was. Low key and relaxed.
I asked Aaron to stop at our new and wonderful SuperWalmart on his way home. Sandy our giant dog had broken her leash and so I had a hard time letting her go outside to do what dog's do. I didn't have the energy or mobility to walk with her around the yard. While doing his 11:30pm shopping he did a little extra shopping. I came downstairs and he told me to go and look in the living room. Hmm... I found beautiful potted white tulips, and mini trumpet daffodills, oh and a reese's big cup. It still may not be as conventional as most, but a bulb flower will come back year after year. Aaron has been planting my favorite kinds of flowers (Tulips, and iris') outside the kitchen windows so I can enjoy them for more than the standard cut flower life of 5 days.
Romantic? It may not seem so to some. But I did feel like the most loved wife with I saw those two flower containers sitting and waiting for me.

TLM

I hope I can type this out. I have been taking percocet every 4 hours. At least I can breath, and stay somewhat comfortable taking them. Everyone I talked to that had a surgery like this told me that it was easy. I guess surgical pain is the eye, or nerves of the beholder. I never had any horror stories of my labor and deliveries of our 4 children. Compared to most they went relatively fast, and I never pushed more than 4 times for any of them. Yet there are some women who are in heavy labor for days on end and push for hours. I feel for those women. I have had laporascopic procedures before, and it was a cake walk. I remember shopping the next day. I was also 17 and 18 at the time, so maybe youth was on my side. Not that I am old at 29. But I have to face that I am 11-12 years older and my body has endured a serious car accident and given life 4 times since then. My expectations were high. I really did think that I would wake up and feel somewhat sore. I would go home take a nap and get on with it. How further from the truth could I have been? The incisions are not that bad, sore, but tolerable. It is the achiness in the shoulders and back that are unbearable at times. Oh, and where said gallbladder used to reside is pretty painful as well. I was told that they inflated my abdomen to have more room for the instruments. In most cases the gas they use to inflate you doesn't escape and basically moves at random around any open area it can find. Most people find that it settles in the shoulder area. My mother in law said it was gone by the next day. I am at the next day after the next day and I am still having pain in my shoulders and back. I guess time will heal all wounds and I just need to be patient. Luckily Aaron is an amazing husband and has taken care of every detail for me. I was thinking of how I was supposed to be in Atlanta this weekend. Those of us who didn't go the first time had a chance to go. What if this all would have happened a week later? What would I have done in Atlanta?
God works in his timing for a reason. I am glad that he is in control and not me.
OK, I am due for another round of pills...and a nap.

TLM

I have always been a tiny girl. It is my genetic design I suppose, maybe my metabolism is hyper. My mom was the same way. As an adult my friends hate me because I am so tiny, but I remember as an adolesent feeling ashamed of my small frame. Curvy girls got the boys, I was like a stick of gum, flat on every side. I got teased plenty for it too. The boys would call me "stick girl" and the girls would whisper behind my back. The teenage years can be so akward and cruel. There were plenty of rumors that I was either anorexic or I had bulemia. Both of which couldn't be further from thruth. I loved food back then and I do now. I enjoy the social aspect's of food greatly, as well as a vast variety of foods. I let the rumors and whispers roll of my back. Most lunch sessions in high school I could be found at either In and Out, the best burger stand in existence, or Bakers which had both pretty good hamburgers and really yummy burritos. They came in sizes, the baby, the mama or the papa. I would go for the papa, it was a massive burrito bigger than my arm, with the crispiest french fries and a large Dr. Pepper. They knew me and my friends by name there. Oh, and they had a great quesadilla.
After high school my size became an advantage. The new thing was to be rail thin. In college Kate Moss was the IT super model, and Ally McBeal was the big TV show. My tiny figure was IN. As me and my friends matured so did our dining habits. We moved up to the Olive Garden's and Red Robins. We spent our lunch breaks from work at Marie Calendar's. And if we had a group date the best place was claim jumpers. Their claim to fame is that their portions are twice the size. A baked potato is the size of a football. The drinks also contained twice the alcohol. But that is for another entry... I am known in many circles from California to Chicago to now So. Ohio for ordering a full rack of ribs and the trimings and not leaving a single bite on the plate.
Now I am a busy mother of 4. I eat and love to eat. We don't eat out all the time for time and financial reasons, but we eat well. I still eat what I want and have never had a reason to diet. In fact I was trying to gain weight while I was pregnant with Annika. She gave me morning sickness round the clock. I threw up easily twice a day. I hate throwing up. I did manage to keep at least a meal down a day though. This week is historical. I have learned why I would have never made it as a bulemic. I have gallstones and since Saturday night I have had very little to eat. Everytime I try to eat, I get sick. It is not fun. I am tired, weak and cranky. The smell of food gets my tummy growling, but I know it will only spell disaster if I eat it. So far Jello is my only friend. They said that friend foods and dairy are big no no's. Oh I really want a pizza, battered and deep fried...On my way into town I drove by frisch's big boy. They have the best onion rings as well. Their sign said "Stop and order a whole peanut butter pie." I could eat a whole peanut butter pie right now. But I know that my gallbladder would end me. I hate throwing up, and I don't want to endure the pain I had on Saturday night, so for now Jello will have to do. I guess it is odd how I was teased for so long and the rumors flew of me being bulemic. Now here I am, obsessed with wanting to eat. If I do I throw up, and wind up in the fetal position. I hate throwing up. I could never hack as a bulemic. I love food way to much to let it go.
I have decided that I am going to frisch's first thing Saturday if I am not totally drugged out on pain meds. Oh heck with it, I still gotta eat!


TLM

I have never been one for running. It doesn't interest me in the least. But I do know a few who are marathon lovers. They condition and train for the long haul. It is a demanding and usually lengthly process. And then comes the run. You start out and your feeling good, there are points where endorphine's kick in and push you along. But then there are times where you feel as though your body just can't go on, your mind plays tricks on you, you start to doubt in your ability to complete and make it to the finish line. You have to overcome your own thoughts and perservere. Of the two marathoners that I know niether one has yet to not complete and not pass the finish line. They had that mind over body experience. What an amazing accomplishment.

We were having an average weekend. Filled with all the usual goings on. We started Saturday with Aaron making wonderful ham, cheese & veggie omelettes. We shopped a little and ran some errands. While out the kids asked to have lunch at Cici's, a local pizza buffet place that is actually pretty good if you like that sort of thing. We agreed since we had a few more stops and we were a distance from home. While we were at our last stop Aaron's mom called to say that they had some Cincinnati Chilli cooking and that we should come over for dinner. After a round of Tiger Wood's golf we retired for home. Typical Saturday. Aaron was to debut his first announcement video at church, and I was looking foward to working with the kids again. I woke at 1:30 with the worst pains I have endured since my labor with Annika. I decided to walk around for a bit to better asses what was going on. I took some tums, and at about 3 am decided it was serious. I woke Aaron feeling the need to curl up in the fetal position. He pushed on my right side and after I screamed at him he called his mom for re-inforcement. She stayed with the kids while he took me to Mercy Anderson. Not at all what I expected out of my Sunday morning. They got me in a room right away, I got an IV, wonderful pain med's and tests. Their suspicions were confirmed, gallstones. Yikes, sounds serious I thought. "We'll admit you and get an ultrasound to see how big and if there is blockage." Whoa back up...admit me. As in stay here? 13 hours and some sleep for Aaron later I discovered I was still in the ER. Feeling comfortable I walked to the nurses station to see what the game plan was. I found that there were no available beds to move me to, and there are no ultrasounds done on Sunday's. A few phone calls later and I was given two options to stay for comfort reasons till Monday when I could get an ultrasound, or go home and rest, come back Monday and get the ultrasound and see the surgeon in his office. The down side, don't eat anything, water only. That was a no brainer. In no time I was home and resting watching the SeaHawks shoot themselves in the foot. Monday came and so did the ultrasound. There were stones one of which was pretty large. There was infection and blockage. Oh goodie. I was told to go home, rest, and don't eat, only water until I see the surgeon. I called this morning and got in right away with the surgeon. He agreed that I needed to have my gallbladder removed pronto. Oh yeah, and don't eat anything containing fat, and no dairy. Basically some jello and clear liquids. Oh goodie. At least I can now eat Jello!

So here I am feeling like this little Marathon of my life is at one of those points. My body is revolting and giving me grief. I am in pain, and I really just want to take a break, at least in an emotional sense. This is rough. Usually it is one of the kids that needs this sort of tending to, not me. Aaron and I usually divide and conquer. Not so now. It is hard to be the one conquered and out of comission. I am feeling weak, I am hungry, I am frustrated. I was supposed to go to Atlanta this weekend, once again that is shot down. But as I stared at my little cup of strawberry jello tonight I realized that this is just a little bump in the road. I prayed for God to give me the endurace to complete this race. I will cross the finish line. I will celebrate and praise God for giving me all that I needed. Then I will be even more conditioned for the next race.

If only they made hot fudge cake flavored Jello...

TLM